The Core of All Things

“Building relationships is the core of all things,” my friend’s Facebook post said.

She’s so right.

And sometimes tearing them down is the only way to move forward.

Like when you switch off the broadcast stations that promote dissonance and spew grossly distorted stories, or leave the abusive boss or spouse, no matter what happens next. Like refusing to listen to the voice in your head that beats you bloody for insignificant things, or closing the book on those who say they are your “friend” but do more to take you down than lift you up.

Everything revolves around our ability – or lack thereof – to create, nurture and transform our relationships.

Transformation isn’t easy. Sometimes it hurts. Sometimes it’s downright ugly. And sometimes, unless you are a Marine, you have to leave the casualties behind.

We grow and shift and change every day. The things and the people that once “fit” no longer do. So we have to choose: stay stuck in what is comfortable because we know it so well, or step out with courage into the unknown.

I’ve made some pretty noisy exits in my life – and I’d wager you have, too. The good news is I’ve learned to forgive myself for being human, and commit to staying on the high road next time.  Here is the formula as presented by one of my teachers, Burt Goldman, “The American Monk.”

Burt’s Five Steps to Happiness:

  1. If you like a thing, enjoy it.
  2. If you don’t like a thing, avoid it.
  3. If you don’t like a thing and you cannot avoid it, change it.
  4. If you don’t like a thing, cannot avoid it, and cannot or will not change it, accept it.
  5. You accept a thing by changing your attitude toward it.

Pretty simple, don’t you think?